FIRST CALL SCRIPT

If you're making "that call," this script may act as a security blanket,
to give you something to get you going.  Once the call is underway, the
script is usually deviated from pretty quickly. Still, it's a
good way to get started and make yourself as comfortable as possible
when calling.  It's also designed to let the person you're calling know
that you have done your homework and know who you're calling, to
increase their comfort level as well.

If you're about to make that call, good luck!

*************************************
NUMBER TO CALL: __________________

Hello. I am calling for "Jane Doe." Is she there?
_______________________________________

   N0>

Do I have the correct phone number for her?

   N0>

I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thank you. {Hangup}
_______________________________________

   YES>

May I speak with her?

    N0> Not available for whatever reason

When might it be convenient for me to call back to speak with her?

     {Take information - complete notes! - repeat back to confirm}

Thank you for your help. I will call back at [whatever day/time was
specified]. {Hangup}
_______________________________________

    YES>  <Person who answered gets object of call>

Hello, my name is _____________.  Am I speaking with Jane Doe?

    YES>

I have a personal matter to speak to you about, and I can tell there is
someone else there. Would you prefer that I call you back?

    YES>  <Set up time to call>

Thank you. I'll be calling you at [day/time]. Goodbye.

    N0> We can talk now...

Just in case of phone difficulties, I would like you to take my name and
phone number, may I ask you to write it down? <Give information - and
hope she gets it!>

As I mentioned, this is a personal matter. I am searching for the Jane
Doe whose maiden name was Buck. Do I have the right person?

    N0> <Get out gracefully >

Sorry to have bothered you and thanks.
_______________________________________

   YES>

I was born on __________, in __________ Hospital, and was adopted at
birth. I am looking for my birthmother, and have reason to believe that
you may be her.

   SILENCE>

I realize this may be a shock to you. Let me reassure you that I don't
want anything but some of your time. No one knows about this call; I
have been very discrete.
_______________________________________

    N0> I'm not the person you are looking for.

Let me give you some identifying information. Jane Buck Doe was born
[this date] to (parents] who lived in [town]. If this is you, I believe
I may have the right person.

    YES> I'm the right person.

Please keep my name and phone number that I gave you earlier. I know you
must be very surprised. 
_______________________________________

    YES> How did you find me?

I know you are surprised, but I used legitimate search methods and I
have been very discrete. {Use this both for unhappy and happy
reactions.}
_______________________________________

<At this point, either follow her lead or give her something to respond
to if she was too stunned to start up herself, like the following>

I have been searching for you for over three years. Would you also like
my address?

I've had a good life, and I have often thought of you. I hope you are OK
too.

[Describe myself] I've never known anyone I resembled physically.

I would like to talk with you a little, but if you need some time to
recover I understand. When should I call back?
_______________________________________

<If you can sense this person is in need of recovery time, get off after
determining when you should call again.>

**********************************

Follow up with a mailed card. Use a general "thinking of you" card with
a generic printed message. You should write in the card a personal
message such as:

I enjoyed talking with you earlier today. Even though we have not been
in touch since {birthdate}, I have thought of you often. Just in case
you did not get my phone number clearly, it is (area code + number). You
may call me at any time. Or you can write to me at (address) if you
prefer.

I would like the opportunity to speak with you again. Thanks. 

                    [Signature]

******************************
One more suggestion:  Try to maintain some control on the follow-up to
your phone call.  Instead of saying that you'll wait for a call, say
that you will call back if you haven't heard by a particular date. 
Obviously, you don't want to do this in a threatening way.  However, you
also don't want to be sitting by the phone for weeks on end, trying to
keep a promise that you won't call back when the phone's not ringing.

Again, GOOD LUCK!